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The 2022 March Insanity bracket, determined by how scrumptious the mascots are

A convention like no different. Every year I like to dive into the full NCAA field and decide which team mascot I’d most like to eat. This looks as if a reasonably simple process at first look, nevertheless it’s a culinary minefield.

Each step of the best way it’s essential to make ethical choices about how far you’re prepared to go. Every stage within the bracket is a brand new approach to confront your individual culinary biases. In case you thought making an attempt to resolve which crew will minimize down the nets is hard, wait till you attempt to work out who you’ll be chopping up in your plate. Let’s put the flowery language apart and dive into my consuming bracket.

First off, I’d like to determine that there’s a hierarchy I’ve in the case of making the robust choices, and it falls into a very easy flowchart:

Human > Endangered Species > Canine > Cat

In each in single occasion I’m following this. Until completely pressured, I cannot eat a human. It’s the place I draw the road. From there, I’ll keep away from consuming an animal that’s already threatened by environmental or human influence. Canines are a no go too, except I’m pressed.

Prior to now I’ve mentioned how I unwittingly ate cat, and it was surprisingly scrumptious, however tastes change as you age. I can not, in good aware, bear in mind the candy, pork-like meat of a cat in making this choice. It has now been added to the “taboo meats” part, and prevented when attainable.

The “Texas Conundrum”

Yearly this comes up and I want to consider Texas’ position in all this. The problem is that selecting the Longhorns is chalk. It’s the plain selection, the lazy choice. In a traditional world then sure, consuming beef is a transparent selection when what you’d prefer to eat from the sector.

It’s additionally actually, actually boring. Beef is wonderful, nevertheless it doesn’t tantalize my tastebuds or dance on my tongue … and March is all about dancing. It’s my time of the 12 months to department out into one thing just a little extra distinctive, and being beef will solely carry you to this point.

Discussing the robust choices

I hate what the East did to me within the first spherical. I’ll by no means forgive the East. Sure, I needed to eat a human. The First 4 recreation between St. Mary’s and Wyoming/Indiana pressured me to actually ponder what I’m trying to eat in an individual, if pressured.

Wyoming is a cowboy. Powerful, like shoe leather-based. Not .

We all know Iberico pork is specifically fed acorns to enhance taste. Grass fed beef is finest. By this notion, a Hoosier is flavored by Indiana. These aren’t culinary delights I’m down with. It’s a shitty turducken. I’m out.

Lastly, in the case of these mascots, St. Mary’s is a snack.


Photograph by Douglas Stringer/Icon Sportswire through Getty Photos

We additionally had a cat vs. cat throwdown with Davidson and Montana State. It is a wildcat vs. a bobcat, that are equivalent animals for all intents and functions. Ultimately I went Montana. Free vary, relaxed vary cat >>>> soiled NC mountain cat.

The preparations of the Remaining 4

This 12 months provided a very nice mixture of culinary delights. I don’t simply take into consideration these meats in isolation, however how I’d put together them at dwelling.

Arkansas = Smoked, entire hog BBQ

Akron = Rabbit confit

Delaware = Roast hen

Jacksonville State = Gamecoq au vin

4 actually scrumptious meals I’d be pleased with any time. The problem I had with each Akron and Jacksonville State is the quantity of preparation. Coq au vin is a few WORK, and I solely ever order confit at eating places, as a result of utilizing that a lot oil in a residential setting appears like a waste.

That leaves us with Arkansas and Delaware.

I roast chickens semi-regularly. I’m of the agency opinion that if a majority of People discovered how one can correctly roast a hen it could not solely remodel how households eat, as a result of entire chickens are an affordable supply of protein, however make Thanksgiving so a lot better when people discover ways to make a hen effectively.

The, there’s pulled pork BBQ. It’s meals perfection. Get one wild hog and you may feed over 100 individuals, and wild hog is a scrumptious recreation meat that I’d put up there with venison among the many finest. High that off with a very good, spicy Japanese NC vinegar-based sauce and you’ve got a particular, transcendent meal.

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